If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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