now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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