i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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