I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
