Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
3 2 1 whiskey
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize