batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
