when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
