he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
