I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
