i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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