Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
