Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
