It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
