So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
