so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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