By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
