Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
