Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
