Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

it hurts more in the daytime

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(626): View more from California

I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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(479): View more from Arkansas

They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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(503): View more from Oregon

Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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(863): View more from Florida

I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker

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