hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
