This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
