I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
