I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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