shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Found your dick twin last night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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