I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
