i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
