boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
