She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
