i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think my moral compass just broke
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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