apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
