Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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