When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
