9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
