Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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