Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
