are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
