Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
