He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
