I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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