somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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