Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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