You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
