That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
