Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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