So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
