your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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