i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
