Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
