Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
