when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
