the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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