Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
