if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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