i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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